As I have searched over the past few weeks for comfort in my Bible, in books, prayers, and words of friendship from others, I was honored to receive and email from Angie Smith the author of "I Will Carry You." Her book has been very heartbreaking but beautiful and encouraging. But her word for me was "Prayer". The best advice and comfort she could offer was prayer. Just keep praying. And so I will.... continue to pray fervently to the God of all creation, the one who holds my girls, knowing that one day He too will hold me right along with them.
Tonight I want to ask for a special prayer from you who are reading this blog whether you know me or not. This is a special prayer for my dear husband Glenn. While I have sometimes silently/sometimes not so silently been battling with my grief, it was brought to my attention that he has had to be the strong one for all of us. And man has he been strong! I'm not even sure how he has done it. But tonight as we were talking about some important things in life he voices that he had not had the time he needed to deal with this yet. And that I understand. So I would ask you to pray that God will provide him with the place and the time to work on his own healing. Because it is important for him, for us and for our family. He is such a special man to me and I hate that he is having to go through this. I hate that we are all having to go through this, but we all know men handle grief differently that women. I want him to know he can share and cry and be weak in my arms and in Gods That we will get through this together The three of us.
I open up my heart to you tonight in its messy state. You know where I am standing and thankfully not everyone else does. I don't want to come to you spiritually, I want to come messy and ask for your grace. Father I lay my dear husband at your feet, in the hopes that he will lay his burdens down for you to carry. For I know and you know it is more that either of us can carry alone. But I am asking you to be "Strong enough, for both of us". Bless our hearts that they may grow closer to you and closer to each other. Bless our children each in their own special ways and needs. How wonderful it is to know that two of our girls are safe from all harm. No more tears, no more sorrow, no more pain only Heavens perfection. Bless Grayson and Evan beyond measure in this life we have. And from the bottom of my heart I ask you to walk deeply with me and my heart as there are times that I do not even know where the next step will lead or why.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm34:18