The events of this week have left me broken and angry. Some events that we have no control over and others that are extremely skewd. Of course with the girls due date being tomorrow, my emotions are already fragile and therefore the fire is fueled. The events of this week did how ever drive me to do something that I have been avoiding since November. Anyway....
I have been deeply troubled by the words evidence based practice this week in particular. I have encountered numerous mothers recently that have been faced with almost unbearable news. (The only thing they could have been told that would have been worse would have been that they had lost there precious babies.) Instead they were told there was a problem and that there was nothing that could be done. Come back in several weeks and we will reevaluate. No cerclages (a purse string type stitch to hold the cervix closed), no tocolytics (medications to keep the uterus from contracting), and further more information given for these parents to make informed decisions. They say evidence based practice does not prove that any of these things make a difference in maintaining a pregnancy. But the evidence is.... that women WANT their babies. Fathers WANT there babies.
Much of this evidence based practice theory, comes from teaching facilities. Facilities that are most often known for their cutting edge technology. But with that also often comes a patient population that is not representative of the whole. Often times patients that have histories that put them at risk, or no support to make these therapies most effective. That being said there are women out there that are seen by these specialists that would give their life to save their babies. That should be given the most information and the opportunity to do something that even might save their babies. And if your "evidence based practice" keeps you from providing that information or those services, you should explain that to these parents, but then let them know that they should seek a second opinion. Because thank God there are doctors out there that really care about us and our babies. They care that this may be our only chance, or last chance, and that a loss of a baby effects the rest of your life not just today.
I so want to compile a list of the things I have heard and seen and take it to them and say "can't you see what you are doing to these women!" What if this was your wife, or your baby/babies. However, I am convinced it really wouldn't matter and certainly wouldn' t change anything.
But my heart tells me that if it really were happening to them, or if it really were their wives.....they would be calling my doctor. The one that deserves a purple heart for all the lives he's saved (babies and mothers) regardless of the evidence. Because the evidence that matters to him, is that we want our babies. We are not talking about rashes, infections or minor medical problems; we are talking about a life, a fragile little life that can't protect herself.
Of all the things I have felt after losing Annalise and Emmalyn, the heartache, sorrow, sadness, guilt, failure to protect.....I could go on and on; I am thankful that I did not have to protect them from a bad doctor. I know they had the BEST!