I'm fine...(Or Am I)

This week is finally coming to an end and I am extremely thankful for that.  I am not exactly sure how much more I could stand in one week.  So very much has happened and I am frazzled even beyond my own awareness.  Life seems to be just spinning all around me while I am standing still in the middle.

The question I have pondered much this week is what do you do when something like this threatens the very core of everything you know and love?  Everything you have ever wanted to be or do.  Everyone you have ever loved.  How do you pick up the pieces and start over?  How do you get through the day to day much less the difficult things?  How do you continue to live out your dreams when your dreams have been shattered?  How do you face new trials when you can barely handle the ones already in your lap? 

I don't know the answer and won't even try to come up with one.  I do know that there are a lot of things wrestling around in my mind with each other and I just can't seem to sort it out.  I am frustrated and hurt and lonely and broken and yet when other ask how are you I still seem to muster a half smile and say either I'm fine or I'm good.

Why do we do this?  Why do we feel forced to hide our brokenness from each other?  Why are we so selfish that we can barely stand to listen to someone else's brokenness and hurt and certainly never offer to?

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

James 5:16

Below is a copy of something I read this week that spoke directly to my heart tonight as I remembered it and pulled it out to read it again.  It is from the current bible study that I am doing, A Confident Heart by Renee Swope.

"Do we need to grant one another permission to not be fine?

Could we come broken before the Father, and cry out for His mercy and strength?  He did promise to never leave us or forsake us.  Even when we don't feel it, could we still cling to His promise and claim it?

HE knows we're not fine.

Could the trials be the very thing that break the strings holding on our mask, allowing it to fall to the ground so we can cling to Him a little tighter?

The truth is...

We aren't fine....We are forgiven.

We aren't in control....We are held by the hands that control our very heartbeat.

We aren't invincible....We are made to look to the only One who can heal the broken."

How thankful I am at this very moment for those words. 

Lord please help me see how to let you help me.

And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." 

Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of

 Christ may dwell in me.  2 Corinthians 12:9